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THURSDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER
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| Dear friend, |
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I have opened the same drawer looking for a blue folder since March, and this morning I told myself out loud that it has gone.
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It felt worse than it should have, for a folder, and then a good deal better than expected, which is why we are doing this today rather than next week.
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On Monday we looked at the dream where you cannot find the thing, and dozens of you wrote back with what yours is, and almost none of you said you had stopped looking.
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So the forward question today is which of your searches is finished, since a search that cannot end is just a way of standing in the same room for years.
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What you are still hunting
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Most people are running one of these at any time, and it is rarely an object, since the things we go on looking for are usually an explanation, a person’s good opinion, or a version of a year that did not happen.
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None of those can be found by looking harder, because whoever owes you the explanation is not going to give it, and the year is where it is.
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A search you cannot finish is not the same as a loss you have not accepted, though they feel identical at three in the morning, and only one of them has an end you can choose.
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Calling it off is allowed, and it is not the same as saying it did not matter, which is the bit people get stuck on.
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| “ |
A search that cannot end is just a way of standing in the same room for years.
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